The Pen is
Mightier than the sword. Prove it.
Duel with words, not swords
You are a bard with nothing but a quill, a board and a phial of ink. Your rivals have swords, maces, fish and cleavers. You have words. Type your insults, and a judge reads every one: the sharper, wittier and more personal the line, the harder it lands.
"Thou gravy-sodden, pudding-bellied knave, thy belly wobbles like a pudding in a cart!"
Write anything
No menus of insults to pick from. The judge weighs whatever you write: insult words, rare and old words, rhyme and metre, sarcasm, metaphor, backhanded compliments, and turning a rival's own taunt against them.
Dodge, parry, keep writing
They don't wait for you to finish. Red ink marks where each blow will land: step out of it, or parry with your quill when the blade glints. Every letter costs ink.
A roguelike of insults
Five tournaments, from a village fair to the royal court, each with its own rules: pedants who prize Latin, a masked carnival, a court that frowns on crude barbs. Win bouts, take the crowd's favours and face each champion.
The Gauntlet
Every tournament back to back, hotter with every lap, until you fall. How far can your wit carry you?
Over twenty rivals
Each with their own weak spots, taunts and ways of fighting. Earn instruments, boards and outfits, from goose quills to a strapped-on typewriter.
Every slip is yours
An in-game keyboard of wooden type blocks, with no autocorrect. Typos, repeats and lines that aren't insults cost you composure.
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